This is a specially formulated diet, designed to help you cope

with the stress that builds up during the day:

BREAKFAST:

1 grapefruit

1 slice whole wheat toast

1 cup skim milk

LUNCH

Small portion lean, steamed chicken with a

cup of spinach

1 cup herbal tea

1 chocolate biscuit

AFTERNOON TEA

The rest of the chocolate biscuits in the packet

1 tub of Rocky Road ice cream with Choc-ice topping

1 jar nutella

DINNER

4 bottles of red wine

2 loaves garlic bread

1 family size supreme pizza

LATE NIGHT SNACK

Whole frozen Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten

directly from freezer)

DIET RULES:

1. If no-one sees you eat something, it has no calories

2. When drinking a diet-coke with a chocolate bar, the fat in the

chocolate bar is cancelled out by the diet-coke.

3. When you eat with someone else, calories

don't count if you do not eat more than they do.

4. Food used for medicinal purposes does NOT count. (for example:

chocolate, toast, cheesecake and vodka)

5. If you fatten up the people around you,

you will look thinner.

6. Cinema-related foods have a zero calorie count as they are part

of the entertainment package and not counted as food intake.

(this includes: popcorn, minties, maltesers, jaffas and frozen cokes)

7. Biscuit pieces have no calories because breaking the biscuits up

causes calorie leakage.

8. Food licked from knives and spoons has

no fat if you are in the process of cooking something.

9. Foods that are the same colour have the same amount of fat.

Examples are: spinach and peppermint ice-cream;apples and red jelly snakes.

10.Chocolate is a food-colour wildcard

and may be substituted for any other colour.

11.Anything eaten while standing has no calories due to gravity

and the density of calorie mass.

12.Food consumed from someone else's plate has no fat as it

rightfully belongs to the other person and the fat will cling to his/her plate.

And remember:

STRESSED SPELT BACKWARDS IS DESSERTS

這是一個特殊的飲食公式,幫助你抗衡一天中積累起來的壓力:

早餐:

一個葡萄柚

一片純小麥粉烤制的面包

一杯撇去乳皮浮沫的牛奶

午餐:

一小份精瘦的蒸雞肉和一份菠菜

一杯草本植物茶

一片巧克力餅干

下午茶:

盒子中余下的巧克力餅干

一支巧克力冰蓋的冰激凌

一罐堅果奶茶

晚餐:

4瓶紅酒

2個蒜蓉面包

一份家庭裝極品批薩

夜宵:

整塊冰凍色拉干酪蛋糕(從冰箱取出即食)

飲食規則:

1.      如果沒有人看到你吃東西,那它就不產生熱量

2.      如果邊喝可樂邊吃巧克力,那么巧克力里的脂肪就被可樂抵消了.

3.      如果你喝別人一起吃東西,只要你沒有別人吃得多,那么你所吃的食物產生的熱量就忽略不計.

4.      用于醫療目的的食物(產生的熱量)不算數.例如:巧克力,烤面包片,干酪蛋糕和伏特加

5.      如果你使你周圍的人變胖,你就會顯得相對苗條.

6.      在電影院里吃的相關食物熱量計算為零,因為它們是娛樂物品的一部分,而不算攝入的食物.(它們包括:爆米花,-麥芽糖,-和冰可樂)

7.      餅干片沒有熱量,因為把餅干掰開能使熱量流失掉.

8.      在煮東西的時候從刀和和湯匙上舔吃的食物沒有熱量.

9.      相同顏色的食物含有相同的熱量.例如:菠菜和薄荷冰激凌,蘋果和紅色的蛇肉凍.

10.  巧克力和食物的顏色相同,可以取代其他任何顏色.

11.  站立吃食物不產生熱量,因為食物的重力和熱量的密度?

12.  從別人盤子里吃的食物不產生熱量,因為從所有權上來說它屬于對方,所以熱量會粘在別人的盤子里.

記住:壓力倒過來拼寫就是餐后甜點哦.